The big question being, "Will it hurt?" Well, no not if you do it right and don't short-change yourself on the lube. "The sensations and experiences that feel good to you have nothing to do with your sexual orientation or gender."īut while that's true, the thought of using butt plugs can seem intimidating at first. "One of the great things about anal play is that folks with any genitalia can enjoy it," Alicia Sinclair, founder and CEO of sex toy company b-Vibe, tells Bustle. But once you narrow things down, you're on your way to some pretty fantastic pleasure. From sizes, to textures, to material, and vibrations, butt plugs, if you're not sure what you're looking for, can seem overwhelming. This is especially the case if you're going to try butt plugs for the very first time. “We don’t want things in or around our bodies that are not good for us.In a world of so many butt plugs, it's hard to know where to start. “Try to shoot for lube that has the fewest ingredients and ones you can actually pronounce,” says McDaniel. For example, a silicone lube will stick to your silicone toys and warp the shape forever! Water and oil-based lubes are best for silicone toys, while silicone can work on steel and glass. Lube can certainly add more comfort to your experience, but make sure to get a lube that gets along with the toy you’re using, says Kassel. ✔️ Get the appropriate lube for you and your toy. Usually sex shop staff will be able to guide you to products in your budget.” “If you want an affordable toy, purchase it directly from a sex shop. “If the price is too good to be true, it probably isn’t safe enough for your body, or it will diminish in quality pretty quickly,” says Gomes. “With non-porous toys - like body-safe silicone, glass, and stainless steel - you can wash it off and it’s totally sterile for use.” “Non-porous means the toy does not have those tiny microscopic holes where bacteria can live,” says Kassel. ✔️ Look for toys made of non-porous material. “Just spending more time becoming more familiar with our bodies, being kind to ourselves with caring touch can make us feel more connected and safer existing in them when society is going to lengths to cause so much harm. “Sex and self-pleasure for queer women can be very deeply affirming of their identity, especially if someone is just starting to explore that part of themselves,” says Rae McDaniel, MEd, LCPC, a certified sex therapist and the author of Gender Magic.Īs you explore sex toys, you might discover that “sometimes self-pleasure is exploration without orgasm and there is great benefit to that as well,” Celina Gomes, a certified sex educator and pleasure mentor. Fortunately, the industry doesn’t discriminate against those in the lesbian community because there are plenty that are designed by women and for lesbian couples.Īnd this accessibility means more than just a greater proportion of women being able to achieve toe-curling orgasms - sex toys can offer queer people creative ways to define what their unique likes are, outside a sex culture which highly centers penetration and climax as the only means and end. When it comes to sexual pleasure - whether it’s solo or with a partner - the rig ht sex toy can get things heated up, real fast.
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